I got called detached and apathetic
this evening, standing on the landing
in the half light, shrouded in gloom
windows wafting cool draught
a chill despite the heat of the day
you said, ‘you don’t seem to care
about anything,’ and I rolled my eyes
to disguise the surprise that flooded me
and said ‘I care too much
about people, so much
that it hurts me and
I have to pretend
that it doesn’t affect me
because I cannot bear
my vulnerability’

You asked about hate,
the antonym for love
and my voice cut through the darkness
as I spoke, ‘the only person
I hate is myself-
my relative annoyance and irritation
at others pales in comparison
to the loathing that throttles me’
and I laughed ironically
even though it wasn’t funny
at all


- R L C (via rachel-primaluce)
Source: rachel-primaluce


Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he had died, and, when I asked her what he died from, she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about.

When people die from cancer, their cause of death can be various horrible things – seizure, stroke, pneumonia – and when someone dies after battling cancer, and people ask “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism”, the answer is always “cancer”. A Pulmonary Embolism can be the final cause of death with some cancers, but when a friend of mine died from cancer, he died from cancer. That was it. And when I asked my wife what Robin Williams died from, she, very wisely, replied “Depression”.

The word “suicide” gives many people the impression that “it was his own decision,” or “he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.” And, because Depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide…

But, just as a Pulmonary Embolism is a fatal symptom of cancer, suicide is a fatal symptom of Depression. Depression is an illness, not a choice of lifestyle. You can’t just “cheer up” with depression, just as you can’t choose not to have cancer. When someone commits suicide as a result of Depression, they die from Depression – an illness that kills millions each year. It is hard to know exactly how many people actually die from Depression each year because the figures and statistics only seem to show how many people die from “suicide” each year (and you don’t necessarily have to suffer Depression to commit suicide, it’s usually just implied). But considering that one person commits suicide every 14 minutes in the US alone, we clearly need to do more to battle this illness, and the stigmas that continue to surround it. Perhaps Depression might lose some its “it was his own fault” stigma, if we start focussing on the illness, rather than the symptom. Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. He died from Depression*. It wasn’t his choice to suffer that.



Tom Clempsom


(via leofarto)

(via alilah)

Source: mollyfamous


I wish I could write an ode
to the light over your bed.

I wish there was enough poetry at the end of that day
inside of me
that I could have slipped teeth under skin and torn out words
as if they were bloodstems. I think the gardens you grew in me
never stopped withering but never really got around to dying.

Hey so it’s been four years
since you shot yourself in your bedroom
but even though your brainmatter would kiss the floor in prayer
you still didn’t pass away until four hours later. This gave me
just enough time to find you and hold your hand and
not cry about it,
mostly because your mother was doing the crying for everyone,
which is kind of silly because it was the first time she’d even spoken to you in 56 months
(I never told her that you counted but I did notice she left your funeral early)

hey so when are you coming back home hey so how come
you didn’t even say goodbye or was that just
not part of the plan because last night
I decided I would undergo a frontal lobotomy
if it meant I could just kind of
remove the bits of this brain
that are so painful to live through so
I kind of get your process although
question the morals of it seeing as
your sister is now a swimming pool of whiskey
and your stepmother has stopped eating completely
and I still see you in dreams and I’m
kind of embarrassed that I
always flinch when that happens

nothing matters anymore i’m almost convinced that’s because you’re not here
to make it matter

I wish I could write an ode to the light over your bed
which stayed on
even while
you left.


- a small spark extinguished maybe but still feels like a forest fire has come and left me empty /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
Source: inkskinned


I actually really needed to read this right now.

(via tyleroakley)

Source: onherway



A lot goes on in the background of people’s lives that you do not see.

Insecurities, setbacks, emotions…

Remember that when you compare yourself to others.

You’re comparing yourself to the image, not the lived experience.

And that I do not recommend.

I once found a similar thing that said you’re comparing someone else’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes footage, and that’s not a fair comparison to make.

(via alilah)

Source: yourpersonalcheerleader

"nothing will ruin your 20’s more than thinking you should have your life together already."

- I need to write this on every wall of my room. (via thisyearsgirls)

(via aquairis)

Source: cokeinaglassbottle


As a college student you’re either struggling academically, financially, or emotionally. Or all three.

(via langleav)

Source: sosa-parks

"Wanna know the fucking truth? Nobody is fucking happy. Nobody has skin made from oil paint and sunlight. Nobody fucking understands this world. Fuck, nobody probably understands math as much as they claim. You’re here one day and the next you’re not. God? Religion? I’ve learned a lot more about the world by eating acid and swallowing pills. Tell me what your church has done for you? Tell me if you have holes in your mouth from speaking lies? Wanna know the fucking truth? Pity is just another word for pathetic. Drink beer and watch the sunrise from every rooftop. Take photographs naked. Take photographs kissing. Take photographs having sex. Stop making everything about sexuality. Wanna know the fucking truth? Nobody really gives a damn if you lost your virginity at fourteen or if you were the president in high school. Wanna know the fucking truth? There is no such thing as the right person. People leave. They change like ocean currents, they leave you with bruises in your calves. And you wanna know the fucking truth? You get better. You learn to love. You find God in between the cracks of a wall when you’re puking your limbs out. You wanna know the fucking truth? Go find it."

- something someone should have told me when i was eighteen  (via irynka)

(via alilah)

Source: irynka

When I get sad, I dance to the first song you told me was your favorite. I still miss you. I still love you. And that’s very frustrating.